Enlightment

" One night and one more time Thanks For The Memories even though they weren’t so great " Fall out Boy - Thanks For The Memories

" I’ll face myself To cross out what i’ve become Erase myself And let go of what i’ve done" Linkin Park - What I’ve Done

" Sorry for the things that I did not say Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I’m so proud to call you my girl " Akon - Sorry, Blame it on me

kapan gw bisa sadar klo idup ga bisa slalu ngeliat masa lalu?kapan tiba saat nya gw akan ninggalin itu smua?
i had a great life at the moment but everytime i look back all i got is dissapointment and regret for all the things ive done and wot ive been missing whole life…
people said :
bringing all those thing back just impossible…learn to be better…forget what uve done and do something better and think carefully for everything u want to do…and ull get better chance next time…much thing you can do greater than before…and other else words that they speak to me….
for what ive thought lately :
hell yeah but…to do and to left all those things behind, begin new things, start all over it again…its not as simple as talking

Sit on a bench surrounded by cold screamin ice and a cup of HOT moccha latte…..i write this things…just writting what inside of my brain…LOL XD

WOh~!! cape poll dah seminggu ini ga tau napa kurang tidur mulu….huaa…bentar lagi mo ujian duh panik gw…takut jelek2 ga lulus2….kapan gw mo lulus en kelar kuliahhhhhhhhhhhhhh
duh ngebet pengen merit jadinya liat temen2 gw dah banyak yg merit..damn!! ahahah sedangkan..cewe aja kaga punya…idup masih gajebo gini LoLz…
BT bangettttttt….no tepon ilank smua data2 en jadwal kuliah ilank!! sii butut ke format lagi gara2 abis batre huah cape ati cape ati….
maen ayodance dapet couple lucu…charnya…tapi maennye kek mutan..d bantai abis2an gw….haiz…malu ndiri gw bwakakakak…
mo tidur kaga bisa….ade gw brisik bngt ktawa2 ga jelas baca komik…dasar waita aneh emank tuh satu bac akomik bis aampe ngakak brisik bngt pif~!

Hua…dah lama ga nulis2 ahahah padahal banyak cerita..tapi…yawdah lah yg dah lewat byarin lewat walo…masih keinget tarus even 2 years olredy…jadi keinget lagi gara2 ada temen gw yg nanya kok gw suka ma kerispatih…jadi keinget..lagu yang…duh lupa judulnya pokonya it goes like this “sessunguhnya ku tak rela…jika kau tetap bersama dirinya bla bla bla…” ahaQ2 kangen ma dia…walo dah putus hubungan 2 taon tetep kepikiran…even gw masih sering mimpiin dia T__T well…susah juga ngelupain orang yg bener2 d sayang…even gw dah coba sayang ma cewe laen…*walo ujung2nya gw d sakitin juga* hahahahhaha tapi yah ga tau musti gemana lagi…apa musti cari penganti yg laen?tapi gw ngerasa ga fair aja klo bikin orang laen cuma jadi pelarian gw….tapi wot da fak shud u do?
hemmm…apa yah yg kurang dari gw…ahahahah banyak yg pasti tapi…apa yg bikin gw beda dengan orang laen yg bisa ngedapetin perasaan yg beda dari dia ke gw….or dari dia k orang laen….
apa yg bikin dia bisa ngilangin perasaan yang dia bilang sayang dengan mudah dan memiliki perasaan sayang k orang laen secepat itu…dulu…dunno why
hemm…gw bingung ma mahluk yg namanya cewe
laen d mulut laen d ati…walo dah melakukan sesuatu hal yg gw rasa cukup untuk ngebuktiin rasa sayang dia ke gw..tapi ternyata…JLEB she doesnt think its a big matter to do…setiap perkataan dia bikin gw bingung mau nya apa n maksudnya apa…sampe enek sendiri tapi mo gemana…dia cewe yg paling deket ma gw skrg ini…dikarenakan gw dah males deket ma cewe laen…dan buat deket ma cewe laen..kek nya susah hahahah
yUmmm~! yUmm~!! klo emank cuma mo maenin prasaan gw…yawdahlah gw pasrah neh maenin aja ahaQ toh gw juga dah cape T_T
HUA~!

i never gonna be change..i always be the man i used to be…from the beggining…never gonna change my habbit,wot i like n dislike….

Hoaaeemm….
bangun pagy…mo kuliah….males bngt rasanya…
pagy2 mo nge print tugas buat statistik…printer gue error…freak!!!bete dah….
*kucek2 mata*
hoaaemm….
gue salah donlod lagu lagi…hahahha pengen donlod black parade nya my chemical tapi salah lagu ternyata yg gue donlod…setan bngt!!yawdah gue donlod lagi untung keburu buat gue dengerin pagy ini
Hoaaaeeemmm….
*kucek2 mata*
having my "morning coffee" and wishing today gonna be such a lovely day to me….!
wot am i gonna do today?errr damn asli idup gue makin nge betein…ga beda dari hari ke hari…slalu gue isi dengan hal ga penting and ga guna….

Gue demen bngt lagu black parade pas di......

We'll carry onWe'll carry onand though you're singing, god believe meYour memory will carry onYou'll carry onAnd in my heart I can't contain itThe end of world is waitingAnd carry onAnd though you're broken and defeatedYour weary widow marches ga tau napa dengernya keknya bikin idup gue smangat and....motivate me to do much thing better then i used to do..

hoaeem....*garuQ2 pala*shes the one that i thinkin the most....her grace has lighten up my day...gw pengen banget ketemu ma dia tapi...blom cukup mental euypengen bngt rasanya deket ma dia without any feelingtapi keknya susah...gyahahahha knp dia musti cakep n gue naksir?humm...susah punya temen...*ngakak*

MANDIIIIIIIIII~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dah telat banget euy!!!hahahah another 10 minute class begin...and i still on writin my blog...hahahahmandi mandiiiiiiiiiiieh tapi males...mandi ga yah...ah mandi!!!*teleport k WC*byeeeeeeeeee

Teach Me How To….Trus..!
gemana gue bsi percaya lagi k orang??
disakitin berturut turut ma orang yg gue sayang…2 orang maksud gue…
padahal gue dah nunggu setaon buat percaya and mulai baru…ternyata yg gue dapetin?
sampah lah cuma sakit ati and bete ga jelas…gemana gue bsi percaya lagi sama orang?
tiap kali gue taro harapan and kepercayaan…disia siain….cukup cape…
apa emank ini waktunya gue berenti buat percaya ma orang dan jadi manusia an-sos?

Everything that i dream on everyday start to fade away….
im so lost…and also i lost everything i had to survive and stand still in this world…
ive been drown in pain and suffer….i have sealed my heart…
i wont let anyone touch it…i dont want it to be hurt even more…
the precious that wouldnt be given to anybody else for more…
need an angel to unlock my heart…to heal my wound…
i…just like a stone…or tree…has no feeling..

Huaaa….keknya cukup nyakitin bngt yah..d sakitin beturut2 ama orang yg lu sayang…Hahahahah
eRrrr….malah lebih parah dari yg sebelom nya…hahahah…tapi…stidkanya yg kedua ga tlalu ningalin luka yg ampe dalem bngt seh but..still….bein hurt HAHAHAHAH *laugh over my self…T_T*
apa emank blom waktunya…ato emank ga bisa lagi…ato…gemana?gue juga bingung….yahhh
munkin gitu kali yah….gue musti nunggu lagi….hahah well let see…how long im gonna wait…
apa bakal ada yg nyamperin gue??err kmunkinan seh kecil tapi…gue cuma berharap ada orang duluan
yang dateng ke gue…karena gue dah cape dan males…dateng k orang laen….and gue berharap juga
klo yang dateng k gue…sesuai dengan keinginan gue…*hahahahha bnyk maunya*

dah lama ga nulis blog…gue cuma mo bilank kalooooooo

gue lagi kangen n pengen ketemu n ngobrol2 sama….

tine…Ura…Correy…Malpin…May..Edo…lisa cebol…lisa indo….Aryani…Erick neri…Teddy..sendy…sandy…dirga….Yunita….Sylvia peot…Fanny…Felicia cc kuw…Pupu my winter sonata…..pidot….remon…rudi…iie..ibnu…topik…topan…damar…pepenk…andrew dodo….ivan ch….indra homo….tobi…eunice….CY….tephy…monna…sandro…lundhy…bess…sentot…icha….melissa bebek bawel…melissa smak4….sarah k7….sarah temen ochie…ferdi….andi…agus maonk….dapit bunny….wie sen…

Im Just Odinary person…imperfect one…who try to learn to become such a better person…
yes i do feel hurt…jealeous…
im suffering…
what i suppose to do?should i survive more longer or i just leave by?
im floating….my body numb…
i cant feel anything….
tears…and blood..come out from me..
barely hard to breath….my vision start to fade out…
my dream and my wish has gone…
im the one who messed it up….
im no longer deserve to have a life…

finally…i just meet her..^^
yippe….
anaknya…asli nyebelin….gue d cuekin…dia asik maen…haiyah
well it hurts me more…after…few time shes disapear without leaving any msg or word…
but…it doesnt stop me to loving her…huaa stupid me ey??but…well i just love it hhhahahahah yeah
she just adorable…cant stop thinkin about her…wish that i could hug her….and kiss her huaa maybe it just a dream for me…
uhmmm the more i dream about her
the more hurts i get
and the more love for me to her

————————————
love of my life…ur hurts me…
ur breakin my heart….and now u leave me…
love of my life cant u see…
bring it bck bring it back……

the stupid and idiot…also freak
-Calpine-